Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
