Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
