K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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