Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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