my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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