I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
