I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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