I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i think my cat just said my name.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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