I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
