Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
