My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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