Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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