oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
