Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
