My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
