two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
