His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
