haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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