Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
