am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
