Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
