Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Less talking, more tequila
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
