do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
