We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
