i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
