I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize