you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
