I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
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One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
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you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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