you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
