just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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