sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
