omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize