I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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