i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
