I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
