I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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