Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize