As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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