So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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