Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
3pm strippers are depressing
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
