Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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