grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize