so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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