Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
