i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
