therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
