Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What did we do last night that was yellow?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
