it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i was born a porn star she said
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
