I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
