She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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