Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think I won the penis lottery.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
