I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
