Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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