Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
