my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
