I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
