I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize