dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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