I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
