ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
