it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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