What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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