we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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