My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
